How to log missed visitation and late pickups (facts, not conclusions)

A late pickup is a time. A missed weekend is a date. “They never follow the order” is a speech. Courts and attorneys can work with the first two. They cannot work with the third unless the first two are already on the page.

This page is a system for logging what was supposed to happen and what did, the same day, with the text attached. It is not a motion. It is not a finding that the other parent violated a decree. Whether something is a violation of your order is a question for your attorney.

Custody Proof is a private, one-parent documentation app. The other parent is never invited and never notified. A red flag on your calendar is your flag. They cannot see it.

What to write the same day

Write it while you still know the minutes. “They were late again in March” is how records die.

On the day it happens, record:

The plan. What the order, agreement, or saved schedule said (Friday 6:00 p.m. pickup at the library).
The actual. What occurred (arrived 7:42 p.m.; child not produced; exchange moved to Saturday morning).
Who. Which child, which adult was there, which location.
The clock. Clock time, not “evening.” If you do not have a clock time, write that you do not.
Overnight or timed visit. A missed Friday-to-Sunday is nights. A missed Wednesday 3:30–7:30 p.m. is a timed visit. They are different objects. Courts usually count overnights as nights slept, not “days involved.” Friday pickup to Sunday return is 2 nights, counted up to but not including the return day. See How courts count parenting time.
What you did. Waited 40 minutes. Drove home. Sent one text. Do not write a novel. Do not write what they “meant.”

If the week otherwise matched the plan, say so on that week too. A log of only disasters is a highlight reel. The useful number is how many exchanges went as written. That is planned vs. actual.

Attach the text

A memory of a text is not the text. Screenshot the thread the same day and keep it with the entry, not in a camera roll named IMG_4022.

Useful attachments:

the “running late” / “not coming” message
your sent message with a visible timestamp
a photo of the empty exchange location only if it actually shows the time and place (most do not; the text usually does more work)
a PDF or image of a relevant order snippet if you are logging why 6:00 p.m. was the plan

On Custody Proof, Log violation from the calendar day view opens the event form with the violation flag already on. You can attach JPG, PNG, GIF, or PDF to that event (up to 5 MB each). Notes and those files also land in the evidence vault so the same fact is not living in two places you will forget.

For a longer thread, put the screenshot in the vault under Communications, dated the day of the message. Vault files can be larger (up to 25 MB). In-product: Adding custody time and The evidence vault.

Stick to information you lawfully have. Admissibility is your attorney’s question. The job here is dated and labeled.

Patterns vs. one-offs

One Friday at 7:42 is one Friday. Six Fridays at 7:40-ish is a pattern. The way you get the second is by logging the first without editorializing.

Do not write “they always sabotage exchanges.” Write the six dates, the planned time, the actual time, and the attached texts. A table a stranger can read in thirty seconds beats a paragraph about character.

When you export, filter the window your attorney asked for (this quarter, this school year, this child). The packet order is stats first, then the detailed PDF with planned vs. actual on, then incidents, then the ZIP if they asked for files.

“Violation” in the app is your flag, not a court finding

Custody Proof lets you check Mark as Violation on an event: a missed exchange, a late return, a denied weekend. Those entries show solid red on the calendar (past or future), and they show up in statistics and PDF reports.

That red square means you flagged it. It does not mean a judge agreed. It does not mean a motion is ripe. It does not notify the other parent. The product records what you mark; it cannot read your decree.

If you are unsure whether to flag it, still log the plan and the actual as facts. Ask your attorney whether the flag belongs. You can edit or delete an event later. Deleting is permanent, so do not “clean up” a real date to make the calendar look calmer.

Planned vs. actual (the denominator, again)

Late and missed only mean something next to the schedule.

Put the recurring plan on the calendar once. Review the dates before you trust them.
When the week matched, confirm it.
When it did not, log the actual times the day it happened and attach the text to that day.

Confirming a quiet week is as much the job as flagging a no-show. The full system is How to document custody for court.

What this is not

It is not a court finding that the other parent violated an order.
It is not a winning motion, a contempt packet, or legal advice.
It is not a message to the other parent. They are never invited and never notified.
It is not overnight math by itself. Nights vs. child-nights live on How courts count parenting time.

If the question you typed was “how do I prove they are not following the order,” the honest object is a same-day log with the plan, the actual, and the text. Proof is a court word. This is the raw material.

If you use Custody Proof for this

From the calendar, open the day → Log violation (or check Mark as Violation on any overnight or timed visit). Fill children, schedule type, times, notes. Attach the screenshot. Red on the calendar is the flag. Amber dots mean evidence was logged for that day.

Exports: the Stats Summary, the Detailed PDF Report (turn Planned vs. Actual on when the dispute is who followed the schedule), the Evidence PDF, and the Evidence ZIP. Same filters as the page. See Reports and exports.

Ready to log tonight’s exchange instead of reconstructing March? Create an account. Charged at signup, with a 30-day money-back guarantee on the first charge. The other parent is never invited.

Custody Proof is a documentation tool, not a law firm. Nothing on this page is legal advice. Whether and how a record is used in a case is a question for your attorney.